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Films

The Thing…

The first film I ever saw on VHS was The Thing (originally released 1982). I’m not sure exactly how long after the cinema release it was, but I remember I was still in school, so I guess it was about 1983-84 and I was about 14-15 years old. A kid at school had just got a video recorder and I went over to his house to see it. It was one of those giant top-loader things. I was totally in awe of it. I thought the film was pretty neat too. :)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1…

I’ve been looking forward to seeing The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 for a while. If you follow my blog you will know I pretty much hated all the previous films.

So why was I so keen to watch it? Basically so I could wax lyrical about how bad a film it is…

Immortals…

Immortals is a lack-luster and truly forgettable film. So forgettable I’m already starting to doubt I went to see it.

Visually is it dark and grimy, similar to 300, which I was also not a big fan of. I imagined the film would be really big and epic, but instead most of the scenes were really small scale. Some of the sets looked positively “amateur dramatic” at times. I guess someone got a bit bored during the CGI touching up.

It’s not a really bad film, but it’s not good either. It’s just kinda meh, which has got to be one of the worst reactions a film can get. If I were to make a film I would hope it was either amazing or really terrible. Mediocre is so not worth it.

Film: In Time…

If you mixed up little bits of Logan’s Run, Bonnie and ClydeA life Less Ordinary and Robin Hood, you would probably end up with something like In Time. I don’t mean to suggest it is a ripoff, because it is one of the most original films I’ve seen in a long time. Just that little pieces looked familiar. I guess it’s correct that nothing is truly original. :)

Real Steel…

If you remove the humans from Real Steel, you pretty much have Rocky.

As far as the humans are concerned, Hugh Jackman is ok. The kid who plays his son is a little annoying, but to be fair, so are most of the kids in films. There are quite a few cheesy moments, but they are spread out so they aren’t like fingernails down a chalkboard.

I think the biggest problem with the film is the robots have no personalities. It’s just a giant and very expensive version of Rock’em Sock’em Robots. It’s hard to engage with a chunk of metal when it has no outward signs of personality. They are nothing like Transformers, which are totally real. :)

Having said that, its an OK bit of mindless fun. I tried to listen to other people talking on the way out to gauge the general reaction. It seemed to vary from “Awesome!” to “What a complete pile of xxxx!”. I guess I stand somewhere in the middle.

Cheers

Tim…




Troll Hunter…

Troll Hunter seems to have had mixed reviews ranging from “the best film ever” to “what a load of crap”. I’m somewhere between the two.

It’s filmed in a documentary style using a handheld camera. Think The Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield. You see a few different types of trolls, with the effects ranging from “give me a break” to quite neat, assuming of course that they are not real. :) The vast majority of the film is in Norwegian, so you need your reading glasses for the subtitles.

I thought it was pretty cool, but I would struggle to recommend it as there are a number of sections of the film that are a little slow and the whole, “this is real footage that’s not been doctored”, approach is a little tired now.

This is the second Norwegian film I’ve seen recently. Norwegian Ninja was hilarious, but I didn’t blog about it because I saw it just after the Norway shootings and it seemed in bad taste. You’ll understand why if you see it. I watched it at a friends house and we were both screaming with laughter. It’s so wrong it’s right… :)

Cheers

Tim…




Apollo 18…

I just watched Apollo 18. It’s like The Blair Witch Project meets Cloverfield on the moon. Throw a conspiracy theory into the mix and you have a pretty cool combination. Claustrophobic and creepy.

Cheers

Tim…




Conan the Barbarian…

Being a former Arnie fan, I wasn’t holding out much hope for the remake of Conan the Barbarian. As it turns out I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn’t that bad really.

Jason Momoa is a decent Conan. He’s not physically as massive as Arnie was in his day, but he sure looks like it would hurt if he punched you. He has a face built for sneering and scowling, which is pretty important in this role. Most of his dialog consists of grunting and throaty sentences that make Barry White sound like a Castrato.

The story is pretty average. It’s never going to win an oscar, but it is suitable for a film of this genre. Just enough to link together the action scenes, with only a mild sprinkling of cheese here and there. The battlefield caesarean was true comedy, but I think it was meant to be serious.

The action scenes themselves were a little hit and miss. Some worked really well, but some were a little blurry and shaky. Some of the scenes were cut badly, making it hard to follow the thread of the action. On occasion it got a little hard to see what was going on and I found myself losing interest.

Despite everything, it was a nice bit of moronic fun. I must buy the Arnie films on DVD… :)

Cheers

Tim…




Cowboys & Aliens…

I’ve got a late flight home, which always presents a bit of a problem as the hotel checkout means you are hanging around with no base for most of the day. As a result I decided to go to see Cowboys & Aliens.

Let me start by saying I got 1.5 hours of sleep last night so I am insanely tired…

The film seemed OK, but I did find myself nodding off at times. I woke with a start a few times. A couple of times it was audience screams/shouts and a couple of times it was audience laughs that brought me back to the land of the living. I did see the vast majority of the film and I thought it was OK, but I really need to see it again to make any reasonable judgement on it. The feedback from the crowd would suggest the bits I missed were quite good. :)

I’m now at the airport about 3 hours early for a domestic flight from Canberra to Sydney before my proper journey begins. I think I’m going to lie on the floor somewhere and try not to swallow my tongue… :)

Cheers

Tim…




Rise of the Planet of the Apes…

Rise of the Planet of the Apes is AWESOME! Love it, love it, love it!

Don’t go expecting an all out action film, because it isn’t one. The trailers would have you believe it’s a constant stream of apes going … ape. :) For the most part it’s relatively even paced, but in a good way. Thought provoking and visually fantastic. The movement of the apes is great to watch, especially when they do go nuts. Us humans have a habit of anthropomorphizing animals (don’t get me started on dog and cat owners) so seeing it done on screen like this kinda taps into something primal in me. :)

Easily the best of the Planet of the Apes films, even including the original, which was pretty cool when I saw it as a kid.

Cheers

Tim…