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Friday Philosophy

Friday Philosophy – We Could Be Heroes! {just for one day}.

At Open World I overheard a snippet of conversation which went something like this:

Bob – “How’s it going? Did the last talk go down well?”
Bill – “Sure, it was on time, the audience seemed to like it.”
Bob – “Will you be here next year?”
Bill – “Errmm….” pause…*sigh*… “I don’t know…. I’ll see how I feel.”
Bob – “Oh? In what way?”
Bill – “It just that, at Open World… I have to fend off two dozen people just to go have a pee!”

Wild horses could not drag out of me the name of the person who said that (though several pints and the offer of a curry might do the trick – try me). It both made me smile and made me think. There are down-sides to becoming highly respected in your sphere.

Friday Philosophy – 3 months, 3 conferences

Flights are booked, hotels reserved, plans made. Don’t ask about talks prepared, just don’t :-)

This is not the usual list of “I’m going to this talk and I’m seeing that speaker” blog that people write before an event – well it is a little – it’s more about the different flavors of conference we have available to us.

I have an Oracle conference a month until the end of the year and I’m really looking forward to all of them. Each is very different. I know I am lucky to be able to do this sort of thing, that is go to so many conferences, and partly it is because of being an ACED. But fundamentally it’s come about as a result of the decision I made back in 2003 to give something back to the community that I’d learnt so much from, and even more so when a couple of years back my wife gave me permission to do less stuff that pays and more stuff that I enjoy. Oracle Community stuff.

Friday Philosophy – Be Moral or Be Sacked?

How far will you bend your moral stance to keep your job?

Friday Philosophy – Antisocial Social Media and Sociopaths

Twice, on consecutive days a week or so back, I realised that someone I knew on Twitter but did not know in real life… was someone I knew in real life. But I’d never made the connection! With one person it was not that their real name was missing from their twitter profile, it was just my brain had linked all I knew about them to their handle. In the other case, as far as I can see there is nothing to link their slightly obscure handle to their physical persona, despite the fact they are tweeting quite often about Oracle and also present at conferences. So that was simply not playing fair to hide their real identity in that way and I feel slightly aggrieved.

Friday Philosophy – The Issue of Exceptions in your Mailing Lists

A couple of days ago I got the below email about the next UKOUG Database Server SIG being full. That’s great to see! A full user group meeting. If I still wanted to attend, I could be added to the waiting list:

ScreenHunter_42 Sep. 14 11.25

It made me smile as, guess what, I was already due to be there. I was the last speaker on the agenda! It was going to be awkward if I failed to get from the waiting list to an actual place at the event, it could be a very quiet session…

Friday Philosophy – If You are reading this You are probably Pretty Smart

I bet I can predict a few things about you. And I mean You, the person reading this on my Blog right now.

At senior school (when you were aged between 11 and 16-ish) you were at the top of your classes. At least most of them. You were in the top few in your year for most science subjects and probably Maths too.

And you were not bad at any of your subjects once you had a choice over them, but there was at least one subject you were glad to get rid of as you were poor at it. But if you think back, I bet you were simply *almost average* at it, there were as many kids or more worse at it than you then there were better than you at it. You were just not as stand-out good as you were in other subjects. Come on, I’m right aren’t I? Even your poor subjects you were OK at compared to all the other kids.

Friday Philosophy – On “Being the Expert”

Working as a recognised expert at something is a little…strange, I find.

I had an assignment this week to go visit a client, have a look at a performance issue and find out the root cause. I was also to at least come up with suggested resolutions with the ideal aim of giving them a proven fix they could implement. All to be done in two to three days. This is pretty standard fayre when you are putting yourself forward as some sort of expert in something. And it is not always an easy thing to do – for more reasons than you might expect.

Friday Philosophy – Building for the Future

I started my Oracle working life as a builder – a Forms & Reports Builder (briefly on SQL*Forms V2.3 but thankfully within a month or two we moved up to SQL*Forms V3, SQL*reportwriter V1.1 and SQL*Menu 5 – who remembers SQL*Menu?). Why were we called Builders? I guess as you could get a long way with those tools by drawing screens, utilising the (pretty much new) RI in the underlying Oracle V7 to enforce simple business rules and adding very simple triggers – theoretically not writing much in the way of code. It was deemed to be more like constructing stuff out of bits I guess. But SQL*Forms V3 had PL/SQL V1 built in and on that project we used it a *lot*.

Friday Philosophy – Being Rejected by the Prom Queen

If you follow me on twitter (and if you are on twitter, why would you *not* follow me :-) See Twitter tag on right of page -> ) you will know what the title is all about. I posted the below on my twitter feed a few weeks ago:

Submitting to speak at #OOW15 is like asking out prom queens. You live in hope – but expect rejection :-)

{BTW if prom queens are not your thing and you would rather be asking out the captain of the football/ice hockey/chess team, the vampire slayer or whatever, just substitute as you see fit.}

Computers are Logical. Software is Not

We’ve all heard it before. Computers are totally logical, they do exactly what they are told. After all, Central Processing Units (CPUs) are built out of fundamental units called Logic Gates. With perhaps the exception when a stray cosmic ray gets lucky, the circuits in a computer chip and memory act in a totally logical and predicted manner.

And of course, anything built on top of computers will be utterly logical as well. All those robots that companies are designing & building to clean our houses, do our manual labour and fight our wars are going to be logical, follow the rules given and be sensible.