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Bait and Switch

Just what you need after a long hike in the Lake District:

Histograms

I had a sudden urge to go a bit meta – so here’s a relative frequency histogram of my observations of the general use of histograms in Oracle:

 

UKOUG Conference Survival Guide

I’ve been going to the UKOUG conference for about… Well, most of this century. I think this year (2017) will be my 14th visit. Not only that but I’ve helped organise the tech side of the conference for several years. I was the Database Stream or whole Tech Stream lead for the last 3 years (though, this year, blame others as I passed over the duties to Neil Chandler as Tech17 lead and Chris Dunscombe as Database lead). I also grew up 30km North of Birmingham, in a little city called Lichfield – but to be honest that does not help as my family was from Nottingham and we went there to shop.

So with my many years of experience, here is my Survival Guide to UKOUG Conference in Birmingham.

Oh, and just to be clear. I sometimes say “we” when talking about organising the conference. It is habit. I was not involved this year.

Friday Philosophy – Smart or Smart-Arse?

Many of you know what a “Smart-Arse” is. For those who do not…

A “Smart-arse” a person who is irritating because they behave as if they know everything or try to catch you out by misleading you.

A smart person will look at your problem and say something like “have you tried checking the array size?” and, 8 times out of 10, their input will help you solve your problem. It may not be THE answer but it makes you think about root causes.

A Smart-arse will say something more like “well, I would never have your problem as I would not have joined a company full of Java Nerds!!!”. Yeah, maybe that would have avoided my specific problem #1, but it is of no practical worth right now. .

Friday Philosophy – Improving Your Working Life

If I got you all to write down the top 5 things that make working bearable, and then got you to make a list of the top 5 things that make working enjoyable, I have a suspicion there will be one thing high on the “Enjoyable” list that may not even be on the “Bearable” list:

Being in a good team.

This one thing can make a real difference to your working life. I know this is true for me and it’s something I’ve heard other people say a lot. The team you are in can make up for a lot of negative things about any given job. I’ve found myself in roles where I am unsuitable for the task, or under a ridiculously high workload, even being paid much less than I know I am worth. But if I have been in a good team, working with people I like (well, at least some of them!) it makes it all a lot better. A lot, lot better. Think about the jobs or roles you have most enjoyed in your life. In any of them did you not like the team you were in?

Quantum Space

Here’s a not very serious note that makes a serious point.  I’ve got a small tablespace made up of 4 files, and here’s a little report I can run against the data dictionary for that tablespace:


select 'File space' What, nvl(sum(user_bytes)/1048576,0) MB from dba_data_files where tablespace_name = 'LOB_TEST'
union all
select 'Free space',      nvl(sum(bytes/1048576),0)         from dba_free_space where tablespace_name = 'LOB_TEST'
union all
select 'Extents',         nvl(sum(bytes/1048576),0)         from dba_extents    where tablespace_name = 'LOB_TEST'
union all
select 'Segments',        nvl(sum(bytes/1048576),0)         from dba_segments   where tablespace_name = 'LOB_TEST'
;

The name of the tablespace isn’t significant – it happens to be a tablespace I created to do some tests relating to space allocation with securefile LOBs, and it’s been hanging around ever since.

Friday Philosophy – How I Took The Step Up from Thought Leader to Paradigm Architect.

I’m sure you have come across the term “Thought Leader” before. You probably first came across it recently, in the last couple of years, and it is growing in occurrence. I’m always impressed by someone who describes themselves as a Thought Leader, I think it tells you a lot about the qualities of the person (*). At times I feel that I am also a Thought Leader – However, I recently decided to set myself the higher ambition of expanding my vision and becoming a Paradigm Architect. And I think I can tell you how you can do the same and also become a Paradigm Architect yourself.

Friday Philosophy – Genial Greetings & Festive Fun

For many of us, today will be the last working day before the Christmas Break (unless you live in one of the many places that don’t celebrate Christmas, in which case ignore this post). So Merry Christmas everyone and Happy New Year!

Friday Philosophy – Is a “Free Lunch” Only Ever a Mirage? Look Closer!

Nearly all of us have heard (or even used) the phrase “There is no such thing as a free lunch” and we know what it means – if something of value is provided for no up-front cost, you are paying for it in some other way. According to the Wikipedia entry for it the phrase could have originated from US bars that offered a free meal with a drink, but the meal was salty and so made you want to drink more. Now you know why some up-market bars offer free salty nibbles, it’s so they can sell you more beer and the extra profit is more than peanuts.

UKOUG Tech16 Day 0 – Car and Curry Chaos!

This year I decided to come to Birmingham a little early for UKOUG Tech16, coming up on the Saturday. I drove up to Lichfield where I grew up (15 miles North of Brum – which explains the touch of Brummie in my accent) in the morning to see my mum. Once we had discussed her various ailments and prejudices for a few hours and I’d unblocked her vacuum cleaner I set off into Birmingham to get to Jury’s hotel for 18:00. I was sure the shoppers would be pouring out of the city centre by then and it would be quietening down.