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The Hobbit: An Expectedly Boring Journey…

I’ve been delaying going to watch The Hobbit for a while because I knew it would leave me bored and with bed sores on my ass.

I was with some friends the other day and they had watched the 3D HFR version and said it was cool. One of the guys said he would like to see it again in 2D because a lot of action sequences were really blurred in 3D HFR. I figured my low expectations might work to my advantage, so I agreed to go along and watch it today. What a mistake…

After an hour I tweeted that I’d been watching it for an hour and nothing had happened. My mate fell asleep, so I woke him up and forced him to watch it, since it was his fault I was there. A bit later my brother phoned, so I got a little break when I went out to speak to him. Unfortunately, I was driving my friend home, so I couldn’t use that as my opportunity to leave. I went back in and watched the second half, with a little surfing the net (on my broken Nexus 4 :( ) to relieve the boredom.

If you liked the LOTR Trilogy you are going to love The Hobbit. Just like them there is hours of walking around doing precious little. Also like them, there are very big, but ultimately boring action scenes. Peter Jackson just can’t do fight scenes. He focuses on numbers of enemies, rather than interesting fighting dynamics. It’s just dull seeing a couple of guys easily beat down thousands of orcs or goblins.

I feel like I could have been watching any of the LOTR films. It brought nothing new or interesting to the table. Just like the other films, this one should be watched on DVD with your mates around, so the film can provide some background noise to fill in the gaps in the conversation. In fact, I had a great time watching one of the LOTR films (can’t remember which one because they are all the same) the other day when we spent most of the time talking over it, adding our own bits of dialog etc.

I’m sure it will be a raging success and lots of people will disagree with me, but I think I would rather watch a Twilight film than this. Hating a film is so much more fun that just being bored by it!

Exceptions to the general boredom were provided by Cate Blanchett, who is lovely, and a very amusing scene with Gollum. Although I did enjoy those bits, it just wasn’t enough payback for the rest of the dirge.

I really hope I stick to my convictions and don’t bother with the next two. I’ll just catch them on DVD or something at a later date…



The Hobbit: An Expectedly Boring Journey… was first posted on December 31, 2012 at 5:38 pm.
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